The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
