I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
