and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
