Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
