It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
