Plan B is the new Plan A
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Someone signed my nipple.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
