when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
