Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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