im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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