I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
