You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
