Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
