This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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