Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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