Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
