i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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