roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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