I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
