So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
