Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
