How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
