I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
