make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
