Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
