Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
