Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
