you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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