So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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