hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
