why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
