I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize