Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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