sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
