I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
