you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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