What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
