I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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