dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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