what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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