you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
