you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
