genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize