Duck Duck Cougar?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
