I am in a vortex of obligation.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
