I can feel you judging me through the phone.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
