i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
