Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
