i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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