Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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