we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
