took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
