This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
