Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm always down for nudity.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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