Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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