Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
