Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
This is my gift to your gina
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
