Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
