come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
