no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Randomize
