So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
i think i just lost a toe
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
