He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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