ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
