remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
