ugly people sure do ruin things
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
